tears are liars...

im a liar..im a sinner..im jus a normal gurl trying to understand life itself but get distracted in the way..
i try to figure out why im like this. i dont like to be other than me..
let me be me..why do i have to do or obey or do what other people thinks or says..y?
y we have to do all those thigs jus to proove how high u r or try to make urself feel better?
u dont even treat urself rite..u dont love urself how do u wanna love others??
u despise urself first..u have been a hypocrite all your life including me..y?
all these question started with 'why'....y?
do u have any answers for my questions now? no...
i envy people with good characteristic n live life fully extreme and they dont give a damn wat other tinks..
i envy people who have good hearts n have their natural abilities n talents to compose to write their own synopsis n endings in their life..
i envy people who in charged their own life n faith for their on decisions without feeling regreting afterdat..
i want dat...i noe dat i cant have everything i want..da way dat i chose to be..da way i wanna write it to be..
dis is my story..
dis is my novel..my own climax my own verse...
i shud be da leading lady in my movie..y shud i be da supporting actor..???


coz i know u can keep a secret too

selamat away 2008

empty inbox messages
empty save messages
empty phonebooks
empty sim card
empty back up memories
empty sweet memories...
empty heart
empty me.......

bubye 2008...im gonna miss u..


coz i know u can keep a secret

tall dark n handsome

i wear my eye liner..
i wear my lip gloss..
i wear my mascara..
i wear my blusher..
i wear my heels..

for u...

i even wear my push up bra..
hehe


coz i know u can keep a secret too

twister game

ur turn..
put ur left hand to da right green
my turn..
put my right hand to da right red
ur turn..
put ur left leg on da right yellow
my turn..
put my left hand on da right green..
ur turn..
put ur right leg on da right red..

owwhhh myyy...we're stuck on each other..

but i did fall..alone..
no more hide n seek games for me anymore..

coz i know u can keep a secret too

yak yak

ade sesetgh org dikategorikan bermacam2 atau pelbagai jenis atau karenah org kalo diorg nk yak yak or uuk uuk or beyak...dlm toilet tu tuhan saje la yg tau ape die uat kn? heheh..
based on my experience n observation dat i predict wat most people do at dat time is:

1. diorg minum kopi dlm toilet
2. diorg bace buku
3. smoking
4. mkn roti
5. bace paper or magazine
6. sms n colling org laen (perlu la nk gtau ur doin bussiness)
7. menyanyi
8. meneran sambil membuat pelbagai ekspresi emosi dan sebgainye (yg x perlu tau detail)
9. dgr lagu dri handfon
10. berinteraksi dgn kwn sebelah toilet lg..

begitulah care nye org2 melancarkan proses pembuangan zaman sekarang..hehe

p/s : kids dont try this at home its very DISGUSTING...heheh

coz i know u can keep a secret too..

ewah ewah suke suke die pas pas kn..

KENE TAGGED!! ngn budak segan afif
mule nk menyeksa aku la tu..

1. What is your full name?
y da hell u should noe only my real frens noes

2. Names that people call you?
NEYA (bdk2 sengal)
NIAA (bdk2 chumel je)
NURUL (sek men sudey)
IZZATI (sek ren jeeez)

3. Born date/place?
19th octo....hijau kuning..

4. Your fav color and why?
rainbows becoz they r my frens

5. Quality you seek in a guy/girl?
erm..not now..tgh sore pasal resutl..

List it!

1. 5 of your fav hangouts and why.
BILIK KU
BILIK KU
BILIK KU
BILIK KU (becoz i feel safe n xjumpe org yg x diingini)
CINEMA (so i can b invisible)

2. 5 of your fav guys and why.
papa (mahkota hatiku n heroku)
afif (abg seriusku)
abeng (abg sengalku)
khairul (coz i know u can keep a secret too)
erry (penjageku)

3. 5 of your fav things to do.
smile
smile
laugh
free art
senget

4. 5 of your fav tracks.
smue yg bole goyangkn kepala n bontot n my whole body lah

5. Go ahead, tag 5 people.
afif (haha..kene tagged lg) >=)
helmie
swimmer (i know u ade blog..bg la ur url..xaci la)
aizoo
yaya

Describe..

1. Your phone.
nyawaku..ilang.matilaku

2. Your bed.
fuuuuuuuhhhhh...marvellous

3. Your room.
lebiy dari 5 bintang lah..my secret chamber

4. Yourself.
get to know me then u know 1st..dont simply judge people dat u dont know..i really2 despise dat..

5. Your addiction.
full of L.O.V.E

xoxoxo niaa

i told u this before but u wouldnt listen

im sorry mama papa
i let u guys down..
i didnt mean to..
i didnt expect to be like this..
i regret it..i wish i bole replay or rewind ke ape yg jad..
no words dat can describe how i feel..
tap im ready to face da consequences..
plz look at me again..

coz i know u can keep a secet too

if i could mama..how i wish..

mama : aaaaa...boring nye..nape mama rase moody je?
nia : nape mama? r u ok? maybe it has been raining all day je kot...
mama : papa is working n he will b comin home late..huhuu im sad kite x bole celebrate over dinner la...
nia : nant i try pujuk papa k? mama plz cheer up its not good to be gloomy on ur bday..nant kerut2 nant kunk..nk jadi tue x..hehehe
mama : memandai je kamu tu..
nia : mama, abah da blik.. (it was 9pm)
mama : syg..mama boring kter x kuar one whole day pon..n dis is da boring-est bday ever.. papa u da letih tgk die pon mama da letih..die da orkestra brape session da tuu n hembus trumpet..heheh
nia : mama..kite bole amik maker lukis mke abah nk x? hehe
mama : nurul izzati x baek uat kt abah mcm tu tau..!!! (la skali aku kene mara jgk..adoi..)
nia : mama im sorry i can gave u da best bday..i dont have money to buy u sumting or to spend on..im still a student..im sorry mama..i feel bad..i bole bg u ape yg i mampu je mama..
mama : syg..its ok..mama phm..i know u want da best for me..i know syg..

(we cried together for about 10 min n hug each other..n then continue lukis muke papa gn maker n colgate)

mama happy birthday is 16 december..ur 44!!!
i love u wit all my heart..
u r my only one and nobody can replace u mama..
ur my best fren when im in need
ur my shoulder to cry n satu kepala bler time gler2..smpai papa pon pening gn karenah kite..
hehehe
i love u too papa..but....
im sorry mama..
u know dat i really meant dat i can gave u da best bday ever..in future i will mama..
i promiz u with my heart n soul..
u will have da best bday ever..dgn izin allah n panjangkn umur mama n murah kn rezeki mama...

mencari zombi di tugu..

him : if u da smpai text me k?
nia : ok yunk i will..tapi i takot..
him : kalo u takot x pe la..x yah la dtg..
nia : i da otw da pon..tap its so far..im scared..
him : xde papela..im here kn..
nia : u kt sane..im in da car alone driving in da midle of da nite..seeing tings n smelling tings dat i shudnt have

nia : i da smpai da..
him : k..im here..

u come to me wit ur scooter.. u look so cute with ur helmet but wit a worried face..u look like an 8yr old boy ridding his tricycle trembling trying to control it from falling down..hehehe
u smile..ur hands felt so cold against my hot cheeks..i feel safe..

nia : u where r we goin?
him : kite jumpe my frens kt tugu k?
nia : tugu? kt mane tu? kt sini ade tugu ke? bkn k.l je ke ade?
him : hehe..ade je..later u will see k?
nia : u..gelap gelita nie..i cant even see ur face..where r u taking me?
nia : u!!!!!!! tolong!!!!!! u jgn rogol i ok?? i really gonna kick ur ass....if u do
him : hahahaha...u nie..ngarot la..ni la tugu u..there!! my frens kt situ..
nia : u..yg nieee...bkn...bkn...tugu ke nie? r u sure is tugu?? nape i nmpk mcm..........
him : iye..tugu..nape? nmpk mcm ape?
nia : serius yg ni tugu? nape ade batu nisan nie?? wattttt!!!!!!!! ni bkn tugu u...ni ni ni..
him : ape? kubur??
nia : u!!!!!! gler!!!! korang xde tmpat laen ke nk g lepak..kubur jgk!!! uat pe kt sini?
u nk ur frens : cari zombiiiiiii!!!!!!!!

hahaha..it was an experience..dat i will nver forget..i miss dat nite..mmg gler la..jantung ku nk luruh mlm tu..da la gelap..da la aku sorang berjantina perempuan!!!!!

coz i know u can keep a secret too

so kiss me..

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It’s possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
It don’t take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain’t gonna kiss the girl
Now’s your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don’t say a word
And she won’t say a word
Until you kiss the girl


coz i know u can keep a secret too

the last goodbye

him : u..nk hugg..
her : dlm mimpi u je..hehe
him : im serius..nk hugg..im goin for a long time..
her : ok..i pusing blik..if u x hug i jgk i pukul u..hehe
him : ok
him : u..jgn rindu i tau..
her : kenape???
her : u??
her : where r u??
her : u..its not funny..i pusing balik k..
her : serius u..stop playing games..
her : u..plz...talk to me..where r u??
her : i cant see u..where r u?? plz..plz...(sobbing)
him : its ok u..im already watching u from up above........

she stop the car n watch the moon all nite on his birhtday..stars flows shinningly through her dimples with a smile..

***~fairy god mama~***

bippidie bappedi boo..

i can grant u any wish if u wish sumting for urself..
but i cant grant u a wish if u wish sumting if its for me..

im jus da middle person who helps others but i cant even help myself..
if u r searching for love..
im sorry plz dial for cupid but not da fairy god mama..
becoz i didnt find my true love yet...

i hate people who make prank calls to find happiness..
u noe wattt?? fairy god mama too have their way to kick ur ass if u do it...
yeah u hear me..
kiss my ass..here come da fairy god mama wit attitude!!!!!
hehehe....(*.*)

hugs n kisses:
niaa

snap snap!!! welcome to da reality...

i loose..
u won..
me vs u..
da trophy is??? u have her...
i cant have u..

coz i know u can keep a secret too

ironic

i miss u
i miss u
i miss u

i still miss u even its already 3years waiting for u...
but ur jus blind by others beauty, but not mine...
im beautiful too if u know me well...
im very fond of u in secrecy...
hiding in my own words telling everybody bout u...
they know its u...
u know its u...
and y am i still waiting???

but its just all in my dreams...
will u make it a reality?

coz i know u can keep a secret too

anger management

u feel u wanted to break sumting into pieces
one by one shreded them into dust
u feel throwing sumting around n it really really feels good
u feel u wanted to scream until ur voice cord breaks
u feel u wanted to climb on da top of da hills n jump from da cliff into the sea
u feel like to poke urself wit a needle n look how red is da blood is

but all of this is jus a FEELING dat u cant express it bcoz u dont have da voice and da authority to speak out bcoz ur jus a daughter n da only child in da family..

coz i know u can keep a secret too

the voluptious curves

I LOVE YOU..
three little words dat can be really BIG
dat people forget these days BIG time!
why we have to differ da BLACK n WHITE?
and da BIG n small?
or how many kg's dat we've put on n how many inches dat expand jus after eating a GRAPE?
dats sick...

we should know sumone from the inside and their credibility thus their wonderful personalities.
people are very different in every way from every angle..
take it as an adventure in ur life..
there r no harm done by doing dat..
people wit curves do have feelings n fantasy n dream to be wit a sumone they wanted..
CHANCES is da it thing now..
have u ever thought bout dat?

dont be such an egoistic maniac dat think dat urself r so beautiful...
bcoz others' r more gorgeous and exquisitely delicious than u r...

coz i noe u can keep a secret too